Today I broke down and luckily my friend JOh was there to really help me feel better.

I didn’t realize how emo I was until today, then I asked the one person I spend most of my time with (Bear) if this was a recurrent state of mind. The answer, yes.

It didn’t occur to me until I asked that it could all be due to the use of the Nuvaring.

I’ve been on the pill before but I stopped immediately because remembering to take one each day was too much of a chore. And this was prior to getting married so it was a long time ago. I started using Nuvaring in 2010. It was only because I was in a relationship and even then I would take a break for a couple months after a few months so my body doesn’t go out of whack. I stopped when the relationship ended. I started again a few months back and I never noticed my emotional state of mind until recently.

It seems that I get super depressed and like to play the victim every month around this time. I don’t know if I can handle this roller coaster!

Even after JOh reassured me of my sanity earlier in the day, I couldn’t help but burst into tears soon after I left work. She suggested I do Jim to help feel better and I drove straight there after work. On the way, I cried; on the way home , I cried. I got home and called Bear and I started to cry.

I spilled all my thoughts and bombarded him with all my emotional bullshit and like always, he made me feel better. I was smiling and laughing again. I can always count on him to uplift my spirits.

So, what crazy things were in my head?

I didn’t feel happy. I felt like I was going nowhere. I didn’t know if what I was doing was doing my best. I was basically verbally abusing myself.

After my talk with JOh earlier in the day, I realized that my opinion of myself was the complete opposite of what my friends thought of me. Is everyone as hard on themselves as I’m hard on myself? I posted a status on my fb “Sometimes I want to know what my dear friends think of me”, not because I was fishing for compliments but because I was implying that sometimes what my friends think of me is a wake up call to remind myself that I’m not a loser such a horrible person. It’s gratifying hearing how your real friends think of you. It’s rare that real emotional talk is involved amongst people unless something significant has happened for the emotion to become public, so when there are genuine opinions involving feelings, it’s good to hear. Whether good or bad, it can all be for the better.

I never know JOh thought of me this way and to hear it from her was exactly what I needed. Sometimes we don’t give ourselves enough credit, and that is when a friend steps in and helps us realize that we may just be a little be better than we thought we were.

I’m feeling much better now and now I’m contemplating on if I should stop using Nuvaring.

Anybody else that uses it and goes through emo like symptoms?