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Baby Dilemma

Me: If I decided I didn’t want another baby, would you still be with me?

Bear Baby: Of course.

I knew then, I was marrying my dream man.

I know my wedding will soon be over and I know that I’m not getting any younger.

I’ve been thinking about when I should have my baby and even though there are so many factors, the most important one for me is my convenience.

I’ve been there and done that (with a nanny) so I know exactly how it’s going to go.

I’m still trying to convince Bear Baby that a nanny is necessary.

I’m even having my friends chime in.

The two options are, of course, get pregnant soon after the wedding. Or wait at least a year and get pregnant. Hoping that ‘getting pregnant’ is much easier said than done.

The pros of getting pregnant right away:

Get it over with, still young, chance to have more… I guess that’s it.

The cons to getting pregnant right away:

I’ll be alone, I can prepare my body… that’s all.

The pros and cons of waiting… well, I can’t really think of any reason except that I may be able to plan my pregnancy with a friend.

I always say, being pregnant alone is torture.

I have no reason to wait. I want at least three children and the longer I wait, the better chance of a complication.

I just want to be in a place where I can still work out while I’m carrying. I had a friend who ran half a marathon while six months pregnant! Now that’s something!

I honestly feel like my biggest fear is that I’ll get fat and I won’t have a social life.

Which may be a great thing (not the fat part) since I started my first quarter at Walden University (online) to finish my bachelor’s degree.

Though it won’t help me from now until the day after the wedding.

I still expect some things to change if I do get pregnant. I’d want to be in a house, not an apartment. I need to make more money. I need to get healthy. We need to reevaluate certain things.

My first pregnancy was never planned so this is all new to me. I may not be excited about the wedding but I sure am excited about getting pregnant with the love of my life!

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Whenever Tyler falls asleep in the backseat of my car, I feel bad that he has to wake up to a sore neck. Another important factor is that when he leans over to the center, it is not safe if I were to get into an accident!

I saw this deal and had to share to all the mommies!

This is perfect for our children!

Auto Seat-Belt Pillow


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Not customary to celebrate a 2nd child’s 100th day again, big, but Hayden was born with a heart condition so they weren’t sure if he would make it to his 1st birthday. :(

My cousin’s baby has to be monitored and gets a check up every month. It is something that can be healed so we’re all praying that he can live a healthy life!
Happy 100th day! IMG_2233.JPG











It’s always great to see my family. Aunts, uncles, grandmother, cousins, children and family friends.

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Came to watch Bear Baby’s youngest brother play tennis at the local club.

He won!!! It was nice to enjoy a Friday afternoon with family. It felt like it was my own family and it could have been Tyler. I wish to have this life with Tyler soon, one day.

Congrats Baby Brother!


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I’m a huge fan of classical music. When I have Tyler in the car, I never have contemporary music on. It’s always on Classical or Standards. Music these days are horrible for children.

I wanted to go to the Hollywood Bowl for this event but I’m out of town. When I saw the event for OC, I was ecstatic.

Tchaikovsky Spectacular with Fireworks


be a kid, bv, dw, family, how to, los angeles, mommy stuff, part time mommy, relationships, shoes, single parent, tyler, tylerboy, ventures, violet kim, vip, vityl

For Tyler

His feet grow so fast. The crazy part is because I don’t see him daily it feels like it grows at a lightening speed! He just informed me that the last pair of Vans I got him are snug so I decided to get him new shoes. Although I’d like to get him multiple pairs at once, I don’t know if I want to risk the chance of his feet growing out of them without any use.

Next Up!

Youth Faxon II Casual Shoe by Polo Ralph Lauren – Gray


Being a part time parent has been rough. All I want is for Tyler to grow up knowing and remembering that I loved him exponentially. Even though I didn’t want to show my love by buying him things (because that’s what my parents did), I know that he will understand my actions as he grows up. It’s a struggle for me since my time is limited to weekends and not because it’s legally set that way. We have a 50/50 custody agreement. Well, 51/49 for tax purposes, favoring me. But I had to put Tyler first. His life with his dad is better suited for him now with his new family growing and I’m just settling into mine. I know in the future, we will live closer and he’ll be able to come back and forth without interrupting his school and my work schedule. I’d love for him to spend the night so I can take him to school in the am and pack him lunch.

Things like purchasing a pair of shoes may be minuscule to some parents, but to me it’s a realization of how fast time is growing and how little time I have with baby Tyler. Everything I do, I do it for him.

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I’ll be honest. It was easy for me to forget that I was a mom when Tyler went back to my ex for the week. Lately, I miss home so much as soon as he leaves and what makes it worse is that he is growing so fast.

I love spending time with him but I wish I had more.

I need to move to OC ASAP!