1. Thanksgiving is awesome
2. No outlandish expectations from parents to help with the housework when visiting
3. No criticizing of any sort
4. Always encouraging
5. Gives a lot of words of affirmation
6. NO judgement
7. Christmas is more awesome
8. Communicating is easy
9. Exposed to different love languages
10. Children will be beautiful!
Having to have spent time with Bear’s family over the holidays really made me think about the kind of childhood I had.
It wasn’t bad at all, it was just different.
Growing up in a Korean family, speaking ONLY Korean in the home was great. I didn’t know anything else.
Growing up and hanging out in other Korean homes made it seem normal.
If you go over someone’s house, you offer to help and most likely they’ll be expecting you to. If you don’t help, the parents will talk shit to their child about how disrespectful you were. A. You won’t be dating them anymore B. You won’t be back at the house.
I also noticed that my natural reaction to get up and sit properly or stand if I’ve been lying down or slouching on a surface was unnecessary.
They offered me a glass of wine the first night I met them.
Over the holidays last year, I slept in til 10am, sometimes even 11:30am and nobody cared. Well, except for Bear because he wanted to hang out with me.
I caught myself doing things in the room I was staying in to make sure that it was clean and perfect just the way they had it for me when I left, but honestly, I don’t think they would have minded. I made sure to pick up any piece of hair left in the bathroom floor.
Bear’s mother made EVERYTHING from scratch. Dinner entrees, sides, desserts, pastries, breakfast, bread, EVERYTHING!
One thing I remember vividly, and the reason for this post is to point out the difference in parenting and home life.
I was helping with dinner one night and I offered to help. She asked me to cut up the vegetables. Halfway through, I asked, “is this ok?” She replied, “you’re doing a great job, thank you”.
It felt good to hear that. Honestly, if Tyler was helping me chop of vegetables I would probably tell him he’s doing it wrong and try to have him do it the way I want. I can’t remember if that’s how I grew up, but it does sound familiar in a sense that my parents were very critical of the way I did things. I catch myself being critical of Tyler all the time. After my time with Bear’s family I’ve tried to take in the good and learn from his parents on how to be a better parent. To be encouraging and positive, not always trying to correct my child.
It’s a work in progress.
This is all new to me, and if I had never met Blair, I’d be passing on my Korean parenting traditions and I don’t know how I feel about that.
It’s like they say… you don’t know anything if you haven’t experienced it.
Now that I’ve experienced a different cultural home life, I can use it to my advantage and make sure that I pass on the good traits to my child and future children.
I can’t imagine what my life would be like without Bear and his family.
I’m so happy and feel blessed to have met him and to be able to surround myself with his family.
I love my Korean family, of course, they’re just different. :)