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Single Power

I love being a female. It would be an easier reputation if I were a male, but defiantly not easier. So I’ve been single for 2 months. Couple days shy, but who’s counting anyways?? Right? 😉

This guy makes me feel like writing about the situation because he’s the 1st one that make me doubt myself. For a week!!! But again, who’s counting??? He was my co worker’s friend’s hyung (non related older brother). I saw him briefly for the first time @ my work. He stopped by because his friends & dongsengs (younger friends) were drinking @ the bar. But the 15 minutes he was there he immediately caught my attention. His style was attractive. I don’t usually dig Korean fobs but I don’t discriminate. (Another topic but I don’t have a specific type).

I told my coworker that I thought he was cute and while I attended to other patrons, she told him my opinion. She of course asked me if she could, and I said of course!
He left shortly after, right before I got around to their group. As he walked away, he said bye to me and asked when I was working again. My coworker replied, tomorrow and he walked off looking back couple more times and telling me he’ll be here tomorrow.

I went to work the next night, Friday, wishing that he’d show up. Which he never did. I didn’t know his name or anything about him. All I knew was that he had a striped black and white hoodie. He was now referred to as the striped hoodie guy amongst me and my coworker. That night was my co worker’s birthday so we went to karaoke with her friends, and who was there? The striped hoodie guy. I was sober when I got there and knowing I won’t have the balls to do anything, I started taking shots. 4 shots later, I was feeling buzzed and I asked for his # as we were leaving. I said, “I don’t mean to be so forward, but can I have your #?”. He then replied, “I was just about to ask u for your #.”. Luckily he English. He was a fob but spoke good English. We went to another karaoke till 530am and he needed a ride home since he didn’t drive, so I took him home and we sat in front of his house talking in the car. There wasn’t much talking. Mostly kissing…

He was a great kisser… I left home around 6am and deleted his # immediately. I didn’t. want to be too clingy cause I knew I had some interest in him and thought if he felt the same way, he’d call. I never like to call the guy because I don’t want to make them feel burdened to answer or talk or respond to me. I don’t want him to feel obligated….

The next night was my birthday night and he had called and we had a 46 second conversation. I didn’t even realize until the next morning when I went thru my call log. I texted him, if we talked the night before and and that I was sorry because I don’t remember what I said cause I was too drunk. And that I apologize if I said anything “dumb”. Dumb meaning, me saying how much I like him blah blah blah. Cause you all know I never like a guy more than he likes me. Lol 😉

After that day. He didn’t text so I left it alone. Following Tuesday night was my night off and I decided to hang out in ktown with my coworker who had the night off too. In hopes that striped hoodie will come out, I know I’m so pathetic! Towards the end of the night, he showed up, and I learned that he doesn’t drink much, (light bulb on my head! That’s why he didn’t stay that night @ my bar!). We went to go sing again. And I ended up taking him him again. We sat in the car kissing again in front of his house and talked some more. This time I told him that I had deleted his # from my phone and that I didn’t want him to feel obligated to talk to me. He said he didn’t mind. I told him that I will not call him, so if he wants, then he should call. He promised he would and I just said, don’t make me wait too long.

Days pass and no call, no text and my confidence is going down like a 747 with a malfunction engine. Monday rolls around and he still hasn’t called. I turn into inspector violet and check my call list on the at&t site. (Stalker status, kinda creepy) I call him and he answers, we have a brief conversation and we hang up with me feeling like more shit. I text him that night and no response.

I text him the next morning and I get replies back to all the texts except the last one, where I ask him what he’s doing that night. I was really shocked because I couldn’t believe this guy was making me go crazy! I didn’t understand why he didn’t like me or call me or text me! I asked my guy friends and cousins what his problem could’ve been. Maybe it was the Tuesday night after out make out session & talk when he called me back as I was entering the fwy to go home and asked me to come back & spend the night at his place and I said no. I don’t know what it could’ve been. I know all and only thing a guys wants is to fuck the girl, but I really thought we connected. By the time I got to work @ 9pm, I was sure I never wanted to talk to him again. I was ready to give it up and let this one go, without having conquered the heart of one more poor soul.

Around 1030pm, my friends showed up as a surprise to drink. They kept me preoccupied till I decided to check my phone cause my friend & I were comparing the facebook application on our phones. And there it was, a text from him “hey what’s up? Are u working?”

I didn’t know what to reply, I almost didn’t reply because he made me lose my confidence/pride. But I did. A quick, “yes, I’m working, what’s up.”

Couple texts back and forth came to the conclusion of me stopping by after work. He came in my car again and we just talked, for a good hour. No kissing, barely any physical contact. He told me his first impression of me, he told me what type of girl he thought I was. We discussed out hobbies and personal life…. It was a good call on my part.

I was happy as I drove home, I don’t know if it’s because now I know he likes me, or because I may actually like someone. I think its the first reason to be quite honest.

This is why I love being a girl. I just want the guys to like me. And why shouldn’t they, I’m a great person. I’m well mannered, I take care of the loves in my life, I have high goals for myself and I know I can do anything. Something called confidence. I’m not gonna lie and say I like a guy. There are those few that I connect with right off the bat and those are who I invest my time & effort in.
people may think I’m conceited or stuck up, but honestly, its neither, I’m just really confident in who I am, who’ll ill become, and most importantly for this subject matter, how awesome I can treat my potential future significant other. U work hard, I work harder (not employment wise, but in treating me the right way).

But for now, I’m loving my single life, I’m loving the independence, and I’m loving all the attention!

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