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I was talking to my regulars today regarding love and relationships and I had an epiphany.

1 is happily married w/ 3 kids & the other is single. Both over 40, speaks perfect english & korean.

The single man kept complaining about how he's never been in love and how he was sick of meeting girls that wanted to borrow money from him (which he loaned them).

He confessed that it was the biggest turn off when a girl asked to borrow money after few months of dating.

I love the saying "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me"

I learned after my 2 relationships with old childish men. So shame on me the 2nd time and now I know not to be that way towards men.

Him on the other hand has fallen for this trick numerous times & now he can't trust a girl nor does he want to get involved with any girl who has any baggage. Whether it be financial or emotional, he said he felt like he deserved better cause he doesn't bring baggage to the table. I'm sorry but his unwillingness for unconditional love is baggage. No girl wants to date a guy who's been dicked over so many times that she has to walk on eggshells with him.

His friend asked him a hypothetical question. "You wife has a good paying job and is making payments on her $50k debt. She gets pregnant and wants to have the baby but needs to quit her job…"

His answer? She shouldn't have the baby! The married man had a shocked look and said, "its ur freaking baby too! Wow you're an asshole!"

He replied, "well am I gonna have to support her 100% or just partially? I don't want the baby then, why is she having it???"

I just laughed and said, "you'll never find love and you'll never get married."

Not that money is the issue, but its his lack of unconditional love. Whether its other baggage like in laws, previous marriages with kids, lack of education, physical appearance, or whatever.

When the single patron was saying all that, it reminded me of my friend D who has a list or criteria the girl has to meet. No wonder he's still single. (Sorry D! If you're reading this, remember its just my opinion!)

I know for a fact it doesn't matter what the person has or doesn't have. If you're compatible and the chemistry is right, it'll work out and you'll love the person with all your heart. And if u can't accept the minor things than love isn't for you.

you can't stop ur heart from feeling the things it feels and if u start stopping urself from feeling it, its going to create a wall that's going to be harder to break down each time. Which means the longer you'll be single and the less likely you'll be happy & content.


violet

Sent via bbb…

www.violetkim.com

"I'm hard to remember, but impossible to forget"

One response

  1. Thanks for this post Violet! I'm an older single male in very similar circumstances to that guy. Yesterday (by myself) I saw 500 Days of Summer and shed a tear so I guess I still have hope. Previously I did watch it with a date but was not as emotionally attached to the film like I was yesterday. It was weird. If you have seen the movie, please tell me why. Oh BTW Happy Belated Birthday!

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