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Traditional vs. the Unconventional

Which is for you?

I battle from this dilemma almost everyday. I think because of these to choices, my relationship failed and I won’t be having ANY relationships in the future.
Traditional: Go to college after high school. Find a companion. Get Married. Have kids. Live in the burbs. Live a family life. Send your kids off. And it goes on and on and on.
Unconventional: ME!
I was too busy living life and wanting to do what I wanted when I wanted.
I graduated high school and went to a JC for a little while working at a law firm PT. But when I realized I didn’t really have to work because my parents were going to support me, I stopped.
I only started working my senior year in hs for ROP, which meant I got to leave school early. I guess I never cared about academics. I was more into boys, fashion, cars and being out and being seen.
After a childhood of being on stage, I decided this was what I enjoyed so I started taking acting classes.
Fast forward 10 years and here I am.
I’ve been thru the marriage, divorce and child. I’ve been thru the partying stage. I’ve been thru the 9-5 job which I immensely loved!
I think I’ve lived my adult life backwards, and maybe thats the reason why I don’t mesh well with relationships!
I don’t know if the family life is for me. With the career I have in mind for myself, it sure won’t be the traditional lifestyle that any future husband will want.
Although I would want both, and I’m sure it could be possible, but it’s just going to be twice as hard and I would have to find someone just as understanding.
To do it on my own will be easy in either lifestyle. I can give up my career get married again, have more kids and just be a mom and be dissatisfied with my life because I didn’t follow my dreams. OR I could follow my dreams and be dissatisfied with my life because I don’t have anyone to share it with for the rest of my life and even though I have one son, he won’t have any siblings to grow up with. (I hope my ex hubby gets married soon so he can have the kids I don’t need to have). And I worry about my son, because I was the only child and I was and still get lonely.
Either way, I won’t have everything I want. So it’s a fork in the road.
A. Do my thing and live alone
B. Don’t do my thing and appreciate the man in my life and look forward to a wonderful future together minus my dream
C. Work extra hard and make both work
I choose C

One response

  1. i choose C too.you know we've been through a lot of similar situations.. but i believe you can HAVE what you WANT and still find happiness the way you'd like.life takes the weirdest turns, but it all unwinds into the right thing. for you. when it is right…stay strong violet! i'm always here 🙂 just a BBM away!

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