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Truth

So I’m just going to say it.

I slept with my exer on the 1st date and didn’t think nothing of it.  I would’ve been ok if he never called.

Yes I know but fuck, I know there are plenty of girls who make the mistake of doing that. And for these reasons.

#1: They get too drunk (that was me)
#2: They just want fuck
#3: They really liked them and THOUGHT the guy would like them more if they did

None of these are reasons to why a guy should call a girl a slut or whore if she chooses too, because motherfucker you fucked too so that makes you the same thing.  But we don’t have to go there because we are ALL adults and we can be mature about this.

so anyways, my story is, I got fucked up, he invited me up so I could sober up.  I took the offer because I was REALLY drunk and didn’t want another DUI.  I had no intentions on sleeping with him nor did I even plan on kissing him. But the kissing part already happened.

I guess he assumed that I would fuck because I came up.  But then again, can I blame him?  (So girls, choose your actions wisely cause men only have one thing on their mind.)

We were making out and doing other things that led to sex.  BUT! It was everything else that made it amazing.  Coming out of 2 back to back relationships were I didn’t get ANY SEX and having to have been single for a year and not really interested in having sex made me enjoy every moment of it.

After the deed was done, I was ready to go home and started putting on my clothes.  He asked me to spend the night.  At that moment, I hesitated to say yes, but in my head I was quite surprised by his offer and thought maybe he was a decent guy because he was NOT trying to kick me out after having sex.  (Wow I’ve really desensitized).  So I stayed.

Morning after, I got up to leave and he asked if I wanted to go have lunch.  I was shocked. Because it was NOT the normal thing a guy would do in a case like this.  Then I realized he must have really liked me.  So I started to open my heart too.  That’s when the lovey dovey honeymoon stage began.  After the our 1st date, we were inseparable.  But then again, after that, we didn’t have sex for about a month and just spent every moment together.  I’d come over after work and spend the night and go to work and I did that til we moved in, in November.

Maybe we spend too much time together in bed.  I think that was the problem.  Never good to have too much of something.

The reason why I’m telling you this story is because I don’t want to make that same mistake again.

I don’t want to look at a guy and think he’s expendable after I have sex with him. (And there is a good reason for this, which I will NOT get into now.)

I don’t want to get sick of a guy after I sleep with him and I don’t want him to get sick of me.

I want to get to know the guy before making physical decisions that could ruin something that could’ve been something special.

So wish me luck in holding out from having sex for as long as I can.  Longest I’ve gone was 6 months (when I was with BB) and 4 months while I was single.

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