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Quarterly Crisis

It came late this quarter. 

I deleted my FB which means bye bye Violetcrimes Facebook page. Yes, I changed it recently. I’m in the process of figuring out how I’m going to transfer my wordpress blog to my new domain while navigating the readers (yoo-hoo? Anyone there?) from my violetkim.com. 

So this is how it started. I woke up with Bear tapping my thigh. I woke up abruptly on my back (which I never ever sleep that way), mid snore. I started feeling sick yesterday and I didn’t feel better this am.

I went back to sleep for the next couple of hours and woke up as Bear left for work. Weird thing is, I was aware of my sleeping at that. Every little snort (I don’t know how long I’ve been doing it) woke me up. I even think at one point, Bear grabbed his pillow and cover his ears under it! Sowee! 

I got ready for the office. Went on the scale (since last Wednesday) before putting on my #ootd, and I weighed in at 119.doesntmatter. Tried to take a photo but I need a new battery in the scale. Reads Lo immediately. 

I couldn’t find anything to wear. I squeezed into my white “too tight” jeans, long shirt because I hate wearing butt floss and sneakers. Hair tied up, grabbed a pair of heels just incase and left the house. I even grabbed my Jim bag. 18 days until the wedding in Kansas and today was the first. Do Jim for 17 days, eat healthy, buy always eat good breakfast! 

I even stopped by Starbucks, long line at the drivethru but nothing that deterred me before. But I decided to park and walk in. When I got to the office, I got settled and went through my emails. 

NOT EVEN an hour later! I get up to grab something from the printer and my back feels like it’s going to snap. I don’t even know if I’m describing my pain correctly. It feels dull, but maybe sharp? It’s a general area… Lower right, hurts more when I’m standing or waking. Sitting is good, I can’t turn normally. I’m a little bit slower. I can’t stand straight. 

That didn’t start to worry me until later. I just felt down and unworthy. Why do we just work and we all die. Why do we do the things we do? 

I recently realized my hobby was to document my #pigletventures with my family and share it; hobbies are a great thing! I tried to justify it and question myself for doing it. I felt like I wanted more out of life. I want to learn numbers. I don’t want to limit myself from being able to be more successful at my workplace. I don’t ever want my superior to think they can’t come to me with anything. I need more. 

As the day went on, my back was getting worse. Everytime I had to twinkle, the journey was painful. Ibuprofen didn’t help at all! 

I got a lot done and the day was over. I felt disconnected. So I deactivated my Facebook. 

I don’t know how long my quarterly crisis is going to last but I’m out. 

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