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The Bestest

The Bestest

He’s the sweetest. I usually leave before him, but this am, he left for work at 5:30am.

I heard him come back while I was asleep but didn’t think anything of it.

When I woke up, I found this #lovenote from him.

Thank you for my usual! I love you!

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Is doing my best, really doing my best?

Over dinner, Bear was telling me about his day and how he got a ride home from a professor. I asked how that even happened and he told me that they were having a conversation by the bus stop. The professor was sharing his experiences with his students about how they dislike him because his class is too hard. He added to it by telling Bear that although the class was difficult, the students always came back telling him how much they learned. Bear started to tell him a story about a difficult class he took at KU. But then got interrupted because the professor’s friend called to give him a ride. That’s how Bear got home tonight.

My curious little mind asked him what his story was. (I forgot Bear likes to talk excessively when he gets into talking, it’s rare, but it happens). 😛

He started to tell me about the class he had in college and how after the first couple of assignments and tests he kept failing. At the end of the semester, the professor told the class that the grade on the final could be 95% of the final grade. Bear decided to meet the professor and he ended up studying for three days straight and got a 97% on the final exam, passed the class with an A and blew away all the other students in the class. Even the ones that were studying throughout. He continued to explain that it was the only class where he retained any information. Not only did he learn the subject but he pushed himself so hard that he discovered that he was able to succeed and do his best if he put his best foot forward.

He knew then that once he put his mind to anything, he will be able to do everything. The biggest lesson for him during the four years of college was to do the best that he could.

As he kept talking, I drifted off and thought about my accomplishments. (None to date).

I assume I always try my best, but honestly, anyone that knows me and how I grew up, knows that I didn’t have to try much. Everything was given to me or it was easily achieved. I never tried my best and I never pushed myself.

In the midst of my thoughts I heard Bear still talking about how he does that currently with golf. He practices hard and when he gets to a point he’s satisfied with, he stops and gets bored. He lost me after that again. I kept thinking. HARD. I can’t ever think of a time I tried so hard that I accomplished something so amazing. Or maybe I have but because I’m so hard on myself that it’s not worth remembering? The truth is, I probably really never did anything the best that I could.

By the time we got home, I really wanted to pull myself together and try at something. I needed to push myself and I needed to do it well. I WANT something to show for. I want SOMETHING!

I have always had a lot on my plate at once. Especially now, I MUST GET SOMETHING DONE… SUCCESSFULLY!

Even with #doingJim. I get to a point I’m satisfied and even though I have wallpapers of flat/toned abs, I can never push myself to get there. 🙁

I need more ambition.

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